Finally, on with the actual competition. I haven't covered the top 20 announcements because, frankly, I am too upset with the whole Ryan being passed over thing. However, I will admit going into it that Vitolio is my favorite. OK, here we go.
Philip and Jeannine are up first doing a hip hop routine with Tabitha and Napoleon. Napoleon and I have a tumultuous relationship because he looks like my ex-boyfriend who I despise, but I like Napoleon. Anyway, Philip, of course, is great. Jeannine - not too bad, which is saying a lot when you're sharing a stage doing hip hop with someone like Philip. The judges love them and Philip and Jeannine are a little bit overly exuberant in an annoying way. I will give them a pass because it's early in the season. Mary is acting like I did when I was on percocet recently. Jeannine, however, has a horrid habit of doing the thumbs up sign ALL OF THE TIME. That's going to need to stop. Soon.
Next we have my favorite Vitiolo doing a Broadway routine with Oska. Good deal, he got a great partner! It's choreographed by the gayest man in dancing, Tice Diorio. Some parts are a bit awkward, as they look like exactly what they are - good dancers doing a type of dance that isn't "theirs." My boyfriend Adam likes it, but notes that following the emotional routine of Philip and Thumbs Up is hard. Mary is disappointed in my man Vitolio - she is definitely on drugs. Nigel feels like they didn't put their personalities into it enough and were worrying too much about the technical. Arrrgh. SAVE VITOLIO!!!!!
Neither Carla nor Jonathan have been featured in the pre-season, which has to leave them at a major disadvantage. They are doing the Cha Cha. Jonathan is apparently quite the sweater (as in a sweats, not that he's warm on a cold day). It may be because his partner Carla thinks he's a hottie and he's not into girls though. They come out for their performance and I am loving Jonathan's 70s porn costume. He's wearing a white shear oxford shirt. Their music is upbeat and they aren't too bad. At one point, Jonathan does a split slide through Carla's legs. I'm pretty sure that's the closest he's been to a vagina since birth. I am beginning to worry about Vitolio's Broadway routine. The girls in the audience seem to be going crazy for Jonathan. Adam loves them, but has some technical notes for Jonathan. Druggie Mary gives them a scream and inserts all sorts of sexual innuendo into her comments that I didn't need. I don't want to know that she "likes her cha cha rough." Ewww. Nigel adores it too. VITOLIO!
Randi is partnered with Evan (we love you Ryan!) They are doing a jazz piece by Tice Diorio. Boy, Tice has had a busy week. Evan is a lucky little bugger, for sure. Randi's all worried about being married and getting emotional with Evan - oh, please. Didn't we deal with this with the chubby Jewish woman in pre-season? I am surprised with Randi's unitard penchant that she could find a guy, but to each his own. I guess there are Tatum O'Neal fans out there still. They are both really good, in my non-dancer opinion. I even like Randi, which is a total surprise. Ryan and "The Other Brother" (he's actually wearing a t-shirt that says that) are in the audience. They are perhaps the cutest family ever. Adam likes them too. He and I are totally destined for each other. Once I get my sex change operation. Mary loves them. She does her scream, but it doesn't sound like she has her heart in it. Please, perhaps she's beginning to pass out. By this point, I've voted for Vitolio 3 times.
Paris, who annoys me, is partnered with Tony, who I don't think dances very well. I have a feeling that Tony is on the show as eye candy, but what do I know. Another Tabitha and Napoleon hip hop routine. I'm calling foul at Tony getting his specialty. He uses the word "stank" and I am immediately disgusted by him. Ten second into it, I'm bored and want it to be over. Tony is pretty good - duh, but Paris is kind of sucky. Adam thinks it's pretty good. He hates the costumes and I agree. Mary says that she doesn't think it will be memorable. I agree - I know, I'm surprised too. She also comments that if they get Krump, Tony's cute boy thing won't fly. That's all I need, two dancers who rub me the wrong way doing my most hated style of dance. Nigel isn't impressed. I do laugh at him saying "your stank, stank." Ha. I've now noted to Vitolio 5 times.
Caitin and Jason are doing a Bollywood routine - cool. Jason seems to have been born for this show, but Bollywood seems to be exceptionally demanding. The choreographer is a bit worried that it may be over their heads. I can't help but recall Katie and Joshua's routine last year, which was awesome. This is okay, but not super. Let's just say that I don't think we'll be seeing either of them star in a movie that is in first run for 5 years in India. They do have the best costumes of the night, though. Adam adored it. He's all about the hand work. I couldn't see it as well from home, which might be why I wasn't wowed. Mary rants in a positive way. Shut up Mary. I really think she's on something. What, does Nigel slip his female judges a Micky before each show? Nigel likes it too. I guess I'm not a great judge of Bollywood routines.
Jeanette is a bit all about herself. She's partnered with Brandon, who I think is phenomenal. They're doing Foxtrot choreographed by a guy I've never seen before. I don't know whether they're good technically, but they are very likeable on stage. They seem to be a bit held back by their perky derrieres, though. It just looks like their respective bootays are interfering with the smoothness of the dance. Adam likes it and I am pleased. Jeanette is much more appealing tonight. Mary makes a Botox joke about herself and it does crack me up. Nigel looks like he's crying he's laughing so hard. They both are gung ho about the performance.
Ooooh, Wade Robson is doing the next routine. I love him! Yippee. Anyway, Kupono and Ashley are dancing. Kupono dances a bit girly, which he's been criticized for before. He's really fluid, though - much more so than his partner and I think he makes her look a bit leaden. Adam likes it. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm the only one who saw the lead shoes on Ashley. Nigel and Mary both go on about Wade's routine, but really like the performance too. Ooooh, I think I see quirky Mark sitting behind Wade!
Melissa and Ade are doing contemporary. Mandy Moore, not the singer-actress of chreographing. She's both good and likeable - take notes, Mia Michaels. I'm torn about Ade. He might be a bit egotistical and he wears a stupid pick in his hair. They put Melissa in a dress that makes her look like she stole Rosanne Barr's ass. It may be the most unflattering costume ever, which is saying a lot after Chelsea's trailer park getup from last year. The routine is beautiful. I forgot about Richard Marx - ah, the 80s. Adam is teary - I love you, Adam! I think I may be leaning towards liking Ade. Mary screams - my eyes roll. I fast forward. But the routine gets my rewind of the night.
Kayla and Max are the last couple of the night. The guy who I don't know is named Louie and he's known Max since he was 15 years old. It's ballroom and Max has drawn a lucky card. Kayla says that she thinks she's going to nail it and I am waiting for her to trip and fall off the stage - not because I wish her ill will but because that's how this show works. She's wearing a pink fringy number that I'm sure that Nigel will be dreaming about tonight. Adam is having a meltdown because he enjoyed it so much. Adam is all complimentary to Kayla and I am desperately jealous. Mary starts raving on about a train and finally loses her voice and renews my faith in God. Nigel goes crazy over it as well - in his English way.
At the end of the night, I'm thinking the bottom three will be my beloved Vitolio and Oska, Tony and Paris and Jonathan and Karla, only because they aren't known to the audience. I've now voted for Vitolio about 10 times. Oh dear. SAVE VITOLIO!!!!!!
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