Finally, on with the actual competition. I haven't covered the top 20 announcements because, frankly, I am too upset with the whole Ryan being passed over thing. However, I will admit going into it that Vitolio is my favorite. OK, here we go.
Philip and Jeannine are up first doing a hip hop routine with Tabitha and Napoleon. Napoleon and I have a tumultuous relationship because he looks like my ex-boyfriend who I despise, but I like Napoleon. Anyway, Philip, of course, is great. Jeannine - not too bad, which is saying a lot when you're sharing a stage doing hip hop with someone like Philip. The judges love them and Philip and Jeannine are a little bit overly exuberant in an annoying way. I will give them a pass because it's early in the season. Mary is acting like I did when I was on percocet recently. Jeannine, however, has a horrid habit of doing the thumbs up sign ALL OF THE TIME. That's going to need to stop. Soon.
Next we have my favorite Vitiolo doing a Broadway routine with Oska. Good deal, he got a great partner! It's choreographed by the gayest man in dancing, Tice Diorio. Some parts are a bit awkward, as they look like exactly what they are - good dancers doing a type of dance that isn't "theirs." My boyfriend Adam likes it, but notes that following the emotional routine of Philip and Thumbs Up is hard. Mary is disappointed in my man Vitolio - she is definitely on drugs. Nigel feels like they didn't put their personalities into it enough and were worrying too much about the technical. Arrrgh. SAVE VITOLIO!!!!!
Neither Carla nor Jonathan have been featured in the pre-season, which has to leave them at a major disadvantage. They are doing the Cha Cha. Jonathan is apparently quite the sweater (as in a sweats, not that he's warm on a cold day). It may be because his partner Carla thinks he's a hottie and he's not into girls though. They come out for their performance and I am loving Jonathan's 70s porn costume. He's wearing a white shear oxford shirt. Their music is upbeat and they aren't too bad. At one point, Jonathan does a split slide through Carla's legs. I'm pretty sure that's the closest he's been to a vagina since birth. I am beginning to worry about Vitolio's Broadway routine. The girls in the audience seem to be going crazy for Jonathan. Adam loves them, but has some technical notes for Jonathan. Druggie Mary gives them a scream and inserts all sorts of sexual innuendo into her comments that I didn't need. I don't want to know that she "likes her cha cha rough." Ewww. Nigel adores it too. VITOLIO!
Randi is partnered with Evan (we love you Ryan!) They are doing a jazz piece by Tice Diorio. Boy, Tice has had a busy week. Evan is a lucky little bugger, for sure. Randi's all worried about being married and getting emotional with Evan - oh, please. Didn't we deal with this with the chubby Jewish woman in pre-season? I am surprised with Randi's unitard penchant that she could find a guy, but to each his own. I guess there are Tatum O'Neal fans out there still. They are both really good, in my non-dancer opinion. I even like Randi, which is a total surprise. Ryan and "The Other Brother" (he's actually wearing a t-shirt that says that) are in the audience. They are perhaps the cutest family ever. Adam likes them too. He and I are totally destined for each other. Once I get my sex change operation. Mary loves them. She does her scream, but it doesn't sound like she has her heart in it. Please, perhaps she's beginning to pass out. By this point, I've voted for Vitolio 3 times.
Paris, who annoys me, is partnered with Tony, who I don't think dances very well. I have a feeling that Tony is on the show as eye candy, but what do I know. Another Tabitha and Napoleon hip hop routine. I'm calling foul at Tony getting his specialty. He uses the word "stank" and I am immediately disgusted by him. Ten second into it, I'm bored and want it to be over. Tony is pretty good - duh, but Paris is kind of sucky. Adam thinks it's pretty good. He hates the costumes and I agree. Mary says that she doesn't think it will be memorable. I agree - I know, I'm surprised too. She also comments that if they get Krump, Tony's cute boy thing won't fly. That's all I need, two dancers who rub me the wrong way doing my most hated style of dance. Nigel isn't impressed. I do laugh at him saying "your stank, stank." Ha. I've now noted to Vitolio 5 times.
Caitin and Jason are doing a Bollywood routine - cool. Jason seems to have been born for this show, but Bollywood seems to be exceptionally demanding. The choreographer is a bit worried that it may be over their heads. I can't help but recall Katie and Joshua's routine last year, which was awesome. This is okay, but not super. Let's just say that I don't think we'll be seeing either of them star in a movie that is in first run for 5 years in India. They do have the best costumes of the night, though. Adam adored it. He's all about the hand work. I couldn't see it as well from home, which might be why I wasn't wowed. Mary rants in a positive way. Shut up Mary. I really think she's on something. What, does Nigel slip his female judges a Micky before each show? Nigel likes it too. I guess I'm not a great judge of Bollywood routines.
Jeanette is a bit all about herself. She's partnered with Brandon, who I think is phenomenal. They're doing Foxtrot choreographed by a guy I've never seen before. I don't know whether they're good technically, but they are very likeable on stage. They seem to be a bit held back by their perky derrieres, though. It just looks like their respective bootays are interfering with the smoothness of the dance. Adam likes it and I am pleased. Jeanette is much more appealing tonight. Mary makes a Botox joke about herself and it does crack me up. Nigel looks like he's crying he's laughing so hard. They both are gung ho about the performance.
Ooooh, Wade Robson is doing the next routine. I love him! Yippee. Anyway, Kupono and Ashley are dancing. Kupono dances a bit girly, which he's been criticized for before. He's really fluid, though - much more so than his partner and I think he makes her look a bit leaden. Adam likes it. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm the only one who saw the lead shoes on Ashley. Nigel and Mary both go on about Wade's routine, but really like the performance too. Ooooh, I think I see quirky Mark sitting behind Wade!
Melissa and Ade are doing contemporary. Mandy Moore, not the singer-actress of chreographing. She's both good and likeable - take notes, Mia Michaels. I'm torn about Ade. He might be a bit egotistical and he wears a stupid pick in his hair. They put Melissa in a dress that makes her look like she stole Rosanne Barr's ass. It may be the most unflattering costume ever, which is saying a lot after Chelsea's trailer park getup from last year. The routine is beautiful. I forgot about Richard Marx - ah, the 80s. Adam is teary - I love you, Adam! I think I may be leaning towards liking Ade. Mary screams - my eyes roll. I fast forward. But the routine gets my rewind of the night.
Kayla and Max are the last couple of the night. The guy who I don't know is named Louie and he's known Max since he was 15 years old. It's ballroom and Max has drawn a lucky card. Kayla says that she thinks she's going to nail it and I am waiting for her to trip and fall off the stage - not because I wish her ill will but because that's how this show works. She's wearing a pink fringy number that I'm sure that Nigel will be dreaming about tonight. Adam is having a meltdown because he enjoyed it so much. Adam is all complimentary to Kayla and I am desperately jealous. Mary starts raving on about a train and finally loses her voice and renews my faith in God. Nigel goes crazy over it as well - in his English way.
At the end of the night, I'm thinking the bottom three will be my beloved Vitolio and Oska, Tony and Paris and Jonathan and Karla, only because they aren't known to the audience. I've now voted for Vitolio about 10 times. Oh dear. SAVE VITOLIO!!!!!!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
SYTYCD Summer 2009 Awards
In light of the end of public auditions, we would like to recognize some of the more esteemed auditioners for the Summer 2009 So You Think You Can Dance season.
Best Costume: Geo Smith
Oh yeah. You go Geo. For once, someone shows us a style of dance that we haven't seen before on the show and it's good. Not to mention, you appear to have been working out, and anyone who can rock a headpiece that looks like Tweedee Bird is nesting on your head deserves the "Best Costume" award.
Sluttiest Costume: Wislande Letang
Oh Good Lord. It looks like her little cropped T-shirt is actually trying to escape from her body out of embarrassment. Her routine was so out of the $2 strip club that I actually wondered whether she was just stopping by on her lunch break and was disappointed that the SYTYCD auditions didn't include the option of a pole prop.
One Who Should Have Gotten Through: Nathan Trasoras
Yes, Nathan will be on in the Fall, but I can't wait to see lil' Jailbait here show us what he's got - dancing, I mean. Pervert.
Most Delusional: Christopher Carrozza
Whackadoodle here seems to be under the impression that he's some sort of hippie/cool cat. I went to many, many Dead shows and wore tye dye for several years - I even modeled in a national tye dye catalog (there were such things during the 80s revival) and I've got news for you, Mr. Needs-A-Bath, you are no hippie nor are you a cool cat. What you are in a caustic bitch who dances like my two year old nephew. New style of dance my ass.
Creepiest Siblings: Brynelle and Xavier Blanton
If people constantly think that you and your sister are dating, maybe it's time to stop holding hands. Nuff' said.
Coolest Siblings: Ryan and Evan Kasprzak
The Blantons could take a few cues from Ryan and Evan on how to be close siblings without screaming incest. It, of course, helps that Ryan and Evan are each supremely talented and, lo and behold, dance really well together.
Most Confusing: Nick Salzman
Seriously, Nick, what's your problem. Here's some RAID for that monumental bug up your ass. While I have long been annoyed by the judges' Katie re-vote last year when Katie failed to confirm that there was no limit to her tolerance for rejection, I was all with them when they gave you your walking papers. It's not our fault that you're bitter and out of shape. Oh, and shaving? You missed a spot.
Favorite Bad Contestant: Dmitrious Bistrevsky
Yes, Dmitrious, you sucked. But I appreciated the fact that you were somewhat suspicious that you might suck. It says to me that your heart was in the right place. That you were going for it because you thought, maybe, just maybe, I'm being harsh on myself. Well, Dmitrious, you weren't being hard on yourself, but you did win the esteemed title of "Favorite Bad Contestant."
Favorite Good Contestant: Sammy Ramirez
Do you see that smile? DO. YOU. SEE. THAT. SMILE! I want him to be my best friend. Seriously, he makes you want to give him nice things and do things for him just so that you can see him smile (and I don't mean that in a dirty old lady way). I would love it if he were this season's Joshua.
Best Costume: Geo Smith
Oh yeah. You go Geo. For once, someone shows us a style of dance that we haven't seen before on the show and it's good. Not to mention, you appear to have been working out, and anyone who can rock a headpiece that looks like Tweedee Bird is nesting on your head deserves the "Best Costume" award.
Sluttiest Costume: Wislande Letang
Oh Good Lord. It looks like her little cropped T-shirt is actually trying to escape from her body out of embarrassment. Her routine was so out of the $2 strip club that I actually wondered whether she was just stopping by on her lunch break and was disappointed that the SYTYCD auditions didn't include the option of a pole prop.
One Who Should Have Gotten Through: Nathan Trasoras
Yes, Nathan will be on in the Fall, but I can't wait to see lil' Jailbait here show us what he's got - dancing, I mean. Pervert.
Most Delusional: Christopher Carrozza
Whackadoodle here seems to be under the impression that he's some sort of hippie/cool cat. I went to many, many Dead shows and wore tye dye for several years - I even modeled in a national tye dye catalog (there were such things during the 80s revival) and I've got news for you, Mr. Needs-A-Bath, you are no hippie nor are you a cool cat. What you are in a caustic bitch who dances like my two year old nephew. New style of dance my ass.
Creepiest Siblings: Brynelle and Xavier Blanton
If people constantly think that you and your sister are dating, maybe it's time to stop holding hands. Nuff' said.
Coolest Siblings: Ryan and Evan Kasprzak
The Blantons could take a few cues from Ryan and Evan on how to be close siblings without screaming incest. It, of course, helps that Ryan and Evan are each supremely talented and, lo and behold, dance really well together.
Most Confusing: Nick Salzman
Seriously, Nick, what's your problem. Here's some RAID for that monumental bug up your ass. While I have long been annoyed by the judges' Katie re-vote last year when Katie failed to confirm that there was no limit to her tolerance for rejection, I was all with them when they gave you your walking papers. It's not our fault that you're bitter and out of shape. Oh, and shaving? You missed a spot.
Favorite Bad Contestant: Dmitrious Bistrevsky
Yes, Dmitrious, you sucked. But I appreciated the fact that you were somewhat suspicious that you might suck. It says to me that your heart was in the right place. That you were going for it because you thought, maybe, just maybe, I'm being harsh on myself. Well, Dmitrious, you weren't being hard on yourself, but you did win the esteemed title of "Favorite Bad Contestant."
Favorite Good Contestant: Sammy Ramirez
Do you see that smile? DO. YOU. SEE. THAT. SMILE! I want him to be my best friend. Seriously, he makes you want to give him nice things and do things for him just so that you can see him smile (and I don't mean that in a dirty old lady way). I would love it if he were this season's Joshua.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Auditions Part 3 - May 28, 2009
Episode 3 of So You Think You Can Dance's Summer 2009 Season.
Tonight we're hanging Left Coast style in Seattle and L.A. I'm not expecting much from L.A., being inundated with wannabe actors. Adam Shankman is the guest judge. He's so sexy that he makes me wish that I was a gay man.
Oooh, Comfort and Joshua are in the audience .... together? The cool tap dancer, Bianca is back again with straight, reddish hair. Don't know that I'm digging the hair, but she was a favorite of mine last year. She is phenomenal in an acapella tap routine that receives a standing ovation. She's a Vegas girl, of course.
Our first really plus sized auditioner is Debra. When we first see her, it looks like she's on the floor after her knees finally gave out. At one point, Nigel thinks that she is finished, but no - she continues to run around the stage like she smells pizza and doesn't know where it's coming from. Nigel tells her that she's short and needs to choose moves that take that into account. She apparently is an orthodox Jew. She says that she'll have to decide whether she wants to continue in dance because her religion prohibits her from dancing in front of men - which of course she just did, as she is on national television.
Another montage of wacky dancers, including a "Fairy Medicine Dancer", whom Nigel asks what she is on. There's also a chubby Asian guy who goes around on his toes (or en pointe if you want to get fancy) a lot.
Next are swing dancer, Calico. I like swing dance and the fact that Calico is dressed like Rosie the Riveter. Nigel says that she's cool, but not professional enough. She takes the big "No" well. Adam says he'll dance with her and I'm overcome with jealousy. Adam is, of course, fabulous. Apparently, Katie is also in the audience and she, Lauren and Joshua critique him. Moving on.
Asian ballroom dancers Ricky and Asuka, which is apparently pronounced like "Oscar", are second time auditioners. Asuka was in Vegas last year, but I don't remember her. Ricky doesn't seem to have mastered the English language. Asuka has mastered the sexy, but not trashy thing. Their routine is fun and interesting. Asuka has more flair, but I love "I Like it Like That" (Korean disco movie), so I instantly love Ricky. They get through to Vegas. Looking forward to seeing them.
After another good dancer montage, we meet Nathan. He's a total hottie and I am a total pervert because I know from the previews that he's 17. Seriously. a hot, non-effeminate dancer? Holy crap. Adam seems to notice Nathan good looks too. He's an amazing fabulous dancer. In fact, he dances so powerfully that his pockets come out of his shorts. Sadly, my long lost love is too young to be eligible. Nigel gives his a post-dated ticket to the Fall season. I'll wait for you Nathan....
On to Day 2. Sammy is a red-haired former wrestler. Sammy needs new hair. He's a popper, which I like because I like last year's winner, Joshua. I may have been watching this show too long but I like his musicality. His facial expressions at times look like he's burping. Adam loves him, but is worried about whether he has other skills. Sammy has a thousand watt smile, by the way. To choreography.
Our next auditioner Stacy appears to be suffering from a grand mal seizure. She flails around the stage like me in the living room at the age of 10 after seeing "Flashdance." Adam doesn't love her and asks if she has any formal training. He tries to nicely tell her "Yuck." Back to the farm, Stacy. In her post interview, I feel bad because she's crying and seems like a very nice girl. You'll find your thing, darlin'.
Amanda's pre-interview totally gets to me because her father has MS and my father has Parkinson's and I feel what she's going through. She's pretty and blonde with an amazing figure. But can she dance? The answer in my opinion is yes. Nigel looks like a kid in a cupcake shop. Unanimous invitation to Vegas.
Philip the rubber man from last year who missed Vegas because of pneumonia. When the judge's see him warming up, they tell him to get off the stage and get his ticket. But he's not done because his girlfriend Ariel is auditioning too and he's dancing with her. There's a story about her mother and injuries and wheelchairs. Anyway, they dance and it's ok, but not SYTYCD level. I have the feeling that Ariel will be watching Philip audition in Vegas on TV. Lo and behold, she's going to Vegas. Good for you, Ariel.
We break from the good dancers to meet Kevin. I'm pretty sure that he's a get on TV contestant. He likens himself to Shakira and is a man wearing white jeans. If you are a man, unless you are Pierce Bronson, you are not allowed to wear white jeans. Kevin is the drunk guy in a bar who you kind of feel bad for because you know he's waking up with a monster hangover. He appears to be dancing with such zeal that his fly is descending.
We see a bit of choreography and I'm, of course, totally cheering my favorite Sammy on. Go Sammy! Smile a lot, the judges love that! He's going to Vegas. I wave my arms like an idiot. That's it, Sammy is tonight's favorite.
To Seattle - home of the Space Needle. They claim that this is their first time here, but I am suspicious because I think I remember it from last year. Guest judge = Mia Michaels. Mia is an acquired taste. When I first saw SYTYCD I had never heard of lyrical dance and I wondered who the chubby whack job flailing around was. Now I recognize her genius, but I still think she's odd and abrasive.
The first contestant is a super-Geek, Christopher, who claims to be dancing a swing-tango combination to some Star Trek Nine Inch Nails music. His partner is just there to accompany him. I do question the delusional vs. fame seeking. Mary practically wets her pants. Christopher explains his lack of performance and some sort of commentary on gender roles. Mia asks the question that I myself have asked "did you actually think this was good?" Christopher says he thinks it was "rough." He seems good natured, though, so I don't resent him wasting my time.
Nick is a tattoo artist who call himself McNasty and I'm pretty sure is only here to promote his tattooing. He turns out to be a decent breaker. Not the style of Hok or Dominic, but pleasant. He stops early because he tires out. Nick is really caustic from word go. I don't think that he realizes that the judge's think that he was good. Big mistake. He winds up turning everyone off. Bye, angry Nick.
Bad dancer Dmitrious does a lot of flailing handstands. Mary and Mia worry that he's going to injure himself and I'm right there with them. I get the impression that he's trying to commit suicide onstage without the assistance of any weapon. He's been breaking for 3 months and it shows. Nigel suggest that he try ballroom, but they won't be seeing him more today.
A bunch of bad dancers are highlighted by a fat man who dances with one hand in his pocket and a guy who does a belly flop. Seattle has crappy dancers, if this bit is any indication. Nigel is getting pissed.
Kelsea beats Sammy in the bad hair department. She is Asian and has black hair highlighted by gray bangs and a blue patch. If you can get past the hair, though, she does a great hard core lyrical routine. Nigel says that Sonja would adore her. She is totally unique. Kelsea is choreography bound.
In the choreography part, Kelsea doesn't impress me. She has a whole stick out your butt thing. They give her a ticket to Vegas based on her solo, though. Only 4 dancers get through on Day 1 Seattle.
Day 2 Seattle is warmer and hopefully will bring better dancers. A Hawaiian dancer with way to long of a name is up first and I think right away that Mia will love him. His nickname is Porno. Mia feels his vibe, though, and he's to choreography.
The good dancer review makes me wish they'd concentrated on other forms of dance besides contemporary and lyrical. More breaking and popping!
Long haired loser David Sex Stoller is back. Russian Leonid gives old David a run for his money in the hallucinating nutjob department. He looks like Fischer Stevens (who dated Michelle Pfeiffer, by the way and was idiotic enough to cheat on her - but I digress). The judges encourage a dance-off between them and I fast forward. They devote WAY too much of the show to it. They let David through, which is really unfair to his partner.
Porno gets through and next week, we'll get to see ALL good dancers. YIPPEEEE!!!! 170 dancers are going to Vegas. I am SO looking forward to it.
Who was your favorite? Let us know. Sammy wins my love tonight.
Tonight we're hanging Left Coast style in Seattle and L.A. I'm not expecting much from L.A., being inundated with wannabe actors. Adam Shankman is the guest judge. He's so sexy that he makes me wish that I was a gay man.
Oooh, Comfort and Joshua are in the audience .... together? The cool tap dancer, Bianca is back again with straight, reddish hair. Don't know that I'm digging the hair, but she was a favorite of mine last year. She is phenomenal in an acapella tap routine that receives a standing ovation. She's a Vegas girl, of course.
Xavier and Burnell are siblings who apparently always hold hands strangers think that they're a couple - seriously, though, their vibe is umm, not familial. From the bits of practice we see in their introduction, they look a bit like a train wreck. They put on what might be a really, really bad Mia Michaels routine. Half way through I wonder if these moves are actually planned in advance. Alan starts using all this technical lingo in telling them they suck. They go home to spoon.
Our first really plus sized auditioner is Debra. When we first see her, it looks like she's on the floor after her knees finally gave out. At one point, Nigel thinks that she is finished, but no - she continues to run around the stage like she smells pizza and doesn't know where it's coming from. Nigel tells her that she's short and needs to choose moves that take that into account. She apparently is an orthodox Jew. She says that she'll have to decide whether she wants to continue in dance because her religion prohibits her from dancing in front of men - which of course she just did, as she is on national television.
Another montage of wacky dancers, including a "Fairy Medicine Dancer", whom Nigel asks what she is on. There's also a chubby Asian guy who goes around on his toes (or en pointe if you want to get fancy) a lot.
Next are swing dancer, Calico. I like swing dance and the fact that Calico is dressed like Rosie the Riveter. Nigel says that she's cool, but not professional enough. She takes the big "No" well. Adam says he'll dance with her and I'm overcome with jealousy. Adam is, of course, fabulous. Apparently, Katie is also in the audience and she, Lauren and Joshua critique him. Moving on.
Asian ballroom dancers Ricky and Asuka, which is apparently pronounced like "Oscar", are second time auditioners. Asuka was in Vegas last year, but I don't remember her. Ricky doesn't seem to have mastered the English language. Asuka has mastered the sexy, but not trashy thing. Their routine is fun and interesting. Asuka has more flair, but I love "I Like it Like That" (Korean disco movie), so I instantly love Ricky. They get through to Vegas. Looking forward to seeing them.
After another good dancer montage, we meet Nathan. He's a total hottie and I am a total pervert because I know from the previews that he's 17. Seriously. a hot, non-effeminate dancer? Holy crap. Adam seems to notice Nathan good looks too. He's an amazing fabulous dancer. In fact, he dances so powerfully that his pockets come out of his shorts. Sadly, my long lost love is too young to be eligible. Nigel gives his a post-dated ticket to the Fall season. I'll wait for you Nathan....
On to Day 2. Sammy is a red-haired former wrestler. Sammy needs new hair. He's a popper, which I like because I like last year's winner, Joshua. I may have been watching this show too long but I like his musicality. His facial expressions at times look like he's burping. Adam loves him, but is worried about whether he has other skills. Sammy has a thousand watt smile, by the way. To choreography.
Our next auditioner Stacy appears to be suffering from a grand mal seizure. She flails around the stage like me in the living room at the age of 10 after seeing "Flashdance." Adam doesn't love her and asks if she has any formal training. He tries to nicely tell her "Yuck." Back to the farm, Stacy. In her post interview, I feel bad because she's crying and seems like a very nice girl. You'll find your thing, darlin'.
Amanda's pre-interview totally gets to me because her father has MS and my father has Parkinson's and I feel what she's going through. She's pretty and blonde with an amazing figure. But can she dance? The answer in my opinion is yes. Nigel looks like a kid in a cupcake shop. Unanimous invitation to Vegas.
Philip the rubber man from last year who missed Vegas because of pneumonia. When the judge's see him warming up, they tell him to get off the stage and get his ticket. But he's not done because his girlfriend Ariel is auditioning too and he's dancing with her. There's a story about her mother and injuries and wheelchairs. Anyway, they dance and it's ok, but not SYTYCD level. I have the feeling that Ariel will be watching Philip audition in Vegas on TV. Lo and behold, she's going to Vegas. Good for you, Ariel.
We break from the good dancers to meet Kevin. I'm pretty sure that he's a get on TV contestant. He likens himself to Shakira and is a man wearing white jeans. If you are a man, unless you are Pierce Bronson, you are not allowed to wear white jeans. Kevin is the drunk guy in a bar who you kind of feel bad for because you know he's waking up with a monster hangover. He appears to be dancing with such zeal that his fly is descending.
We see a bit of choreography and I'm, of course, totally cheering my favorite Sammy on. Go Sammy! Smile a lot, the judges love that! He's going to Vegas. I wave my arms like an idiot. That's it, Sammy is tonight's favorite.
To Seattle - home of the Space Needle. They claim that this is their first time here, but I am suspicious because I think I remember it from last year. Guest judge = Mia Michaels. Mia is an acquired taste. When I first saw SYTYCD I had never heard of lyrical dance and I wondered who the chubby whack job flailing around was. Now I recognize her genius, but I still think she's odd and abrasive.
The first contestant is a super-Geek, Christopher, who claims to be dancing a swing-tango combination to some Star Trek Nine Inch Nails music. His partner is just there to accompany him. I do question the delusional vs. fame seeking. Mary practically wets her pants. Christopher explains his lack of performance and some sort of commentary on gender roles. Mia asks the question that I myself have asked "did you actually think this was good?" Christopher says he thinks it was "rough." He seems good natured, though, so I don't resent him wasting my time.
Nick is a tattoo artist who call himself McNasty and I'm pretty sure is only here to promote his tattooing. He turns out to be a decent breaker. Not the style of Hok or Dominic, but pleasant. He stops early because he tires out. Nick is really caustic from word go. I don't think that he realizes that the judge's think that he was good. Big mistake. He winds up turning everyone off. Bye, angry Nick.
Bad dancer Dmitrious does a lot of flailing handstands. Mary and Mia worry that he's going to injure himself and I'm right there with them. I get the impression that he's trying to commit suicide onstage without the assistance of any weapon. He's been breaking for 3 months and it shows. Nigel suggest that he try ballroom, but they won't be seeing him more today.
A bunch of bad dancers are highlighted by a fat man who dances with one hand in his pocket and a guy who does a belly flop. Seattle has crappy dancers, if this bit is any indication. Nigel is getting pissed.
Kelsea beats Sammy in the bad hair department. She is Asian and has black hair highlighted by gray bangs and a blue patch. If you can get past the hair, though, she does a great hard core lyrical routine. Nigel says that Sonja would adore her. She is totally unique. Kelsea is choreography bound.
In the choreography part, Kelsea doesn't impress me. She has a whole stick out your butt thing. They give her a ticket to Vegas based on her solo, though. Only 4 dancers get through on Day 1 Seattle.
Day 2 Seattle is warmer and hopefully will bring better dancers. A Hawaiian dancer with way to long of a name is up first and I think right away that Mia will love him. His nickname is Porno. Mia feels his vibe, though, and he's to choreography.
The good dancer review makes me wish they'd concentrated on other forms of dance besides contemporary and lyrical. More breaking and popping!
Long haired loser David Sex Stoller is back. Russian Leonid gives old David a run for his money in the hallucinating nutjob department. He looks like Fischer Stevens (who dated Michelle Pfeiffer, by the way and was idiotic enough to cheat on her - but I digress). The judges encourage a dance-off between them and I fast forward. They devote WAY too much of the show to it. They let David through, which is really unfair to his partner.
Porno gets through and next week, we'll get to see ALL good dancers. YIPPEEEE!!!! 170 dancers are going to Vegas. I am SO looking forward to it.
Who was your favorite? Let us know. Sammy wins my love tonight.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Auditions Part 2 -
The second auditions episode of So You Think You Can Dance's Summer 2009 season brings us to Miami - the land where the tanned, toned gay man rules. And for a guest judge, we have Tyce Diorio!
The first contestant is Alvin aka Tony? Long Last Name. He says he wants to show us something that we've never seen before - which is never a good sign. I can't tell whether he thinks he's actually good or if he's one of those reality losers who just want to get on television. However, his feet are definitely too big, but I don't think that's why he's so awful. Needless to say, Alvin will not be joining us in the future. [Warning - I hate the crappy contestant things and will usually just skip over them.] Alvin has a bit of a meltdown of the lack of breathing variety and a medic is called before he leaves the building (no worries, a banana, some water and a bit of camera time cure him).
Next we have foreign hottie - Pricilla (sadly, not of the desert). She's wearing a blue babydoll dress. What's with the babydoll dresses on this show? If I had a body like these dancers, I'd be prancing around in a thong and pasties 95% of the time. Besides, the width of the dress makes it difficult to see their torso move. Everyone loves her. Nigel drools a bit and Tyce does the gay man hotness compliment. She gets a ticket.
Next we have repeat auditioning latin dancing partners, Jeanette and Romulo. Jeanette starts out annoying me with her bad Nigel impersonation. Romulo has a bit of a lisp. They have some very cool tricks, including the miracle of Jeanette keeping her top on throughout the performance. Mary gives her signature scream - I roll my eyes. They both go to Vegas. In celebration, Romulo breakdances, which is suprisingly a bit depressing - stick with the salsa Romulo.
Twins Jessica and Jennifer repeats their introduction about 27 times. Yes, they will be performing together. In case they weren't awful enough individually. They have some half-tye-died monstrosity pants on that may cause a hippie riot. Their dancing is drunk girl jumping on the stage in a strip bar quality. Apparently, the brain trust twins made up their routine in one day - apparently, they were supposed to be synchronized. I agree with Tyce that it was "tragic." Goodbye twins.
We then have a montage of Tyce going queen on countless terrible dancers. "A milkshake full ofTylenol"? Smelling one's armpit. Call the dance police. He even brings out the full Brooklyn accent.
A guy who looks like Will from last season's little brother is up next. Given the fact that's he's clearly Southern and rather urban, I doubt that they are related. His name is Joseph. He's a popper and I'm not sure if he's dressed poorly of if he's really a lilliputin. He gets an invitation to choreography.
We see Lauren from Season 3 teaching people the choreography and I'm suprised that she looks like the worst of the bunch. Joseph gets a ticket to Vegas, as do a number of nameless folk, including one chick who drops her ticket in a windy hotel entrance.
Wislande is first up on Day 2 and she definitely learned dance at stripper school and borrowed her outfit from her teacher. I can't even describe the costume, I'll have to find a picture.
She tries to pick a fight with Tyce because he looked "disgusted" when she was doing her crotch flashes. Hello Wislande - the gay man isn't into your wahoo! Back to the pole with you.
We see another montage of bad people, including one who apparently has followed the auditions around. Nigel basically tells her she's a kook and to give up.
Our next feature is Eric the Tapper. His song is Thriller and he starts off with a massive flip or is it a somersault - in any case, he's doing something I am wholly incapable of. Moonwalk - no kidding. The Worm! For real. Breakdancing? Holy crap! All this and he seems rather cool? I call Alien! To Vegas with you!
Pagent girl, Paris doesn't have a particularly pretty face, but she's a decent dancer. Paris tends to pose smugly a bit much for my taste - just dance chica. Nigel is all over it and Mary likes it. Tyce gives some criticism and wants her to go to choreography, but Mary and Nigel overrule and send her to Vegas.
Then, we have a montage of - good dancers? What a relief. There's a bit about a Henry Riviera, who I am looking forward to seeing in Vegas.
Geo Smith is a African Dancer IN FULL COSTUME.
I love Geo from word go. He approaches the judge's table and Mary is so freaked out that she claws Nigel. What, did she think she was getting mugged? I am confused as to how Geo can see with his eye-blocking headdress. Geo will be going to choreography.
Thalia looks to be in her early twenties, but is a widow/ Apprently, her hubby (who had a rocking body, by the way) died in a motorcycle accident three years ago. Sad. The show is obviously trying to get us to root for her. Thalia is a gorgious girl with a fantastic figure. She does a rather masculine hip hip routine with definite Selina elements to it (that's my nice way of saying a bit stripperish). Nigel is creeped out a bit by her facial expressions. Mary liked her fire, but agrees with Nigel that there isn't a lot of substance. Mary and Nigel send her to choreography. I'm not hopeful, but go for it Thalia.
In choreography, I think that Geo rocks, but Thalia leaves a bit to be desired. GEO GOES TO VEGAS. YEAHHHHHH. Thalia gets to go too. We then get another montage of Vegas goers, including another girl who drops her ticket in the doorway.
On to Memphis! Guest judge Lil' C., master of my most hated dance form - Krump. Our first Volunteer is Marico the Police Officer. His stye of dance is something that sounds like "Memphis Chicken" but is apparently Memphis Jukin'. It reminds me a bit of Cedric from a couple of seasons ago, which I consider a compliment. Nigel references someone called "Lil' Buck" - is he related to Lil C? Mary talks about Jukin like she's seen it before, but I'm doubtful. The judges do a big fake out, but Marico goes to Vegas. I like him. He may be second to Geo on my most loved dancers list.
Next up, Dustin is an escapee from a 70s cop show and is apparently the cousin of a Backstreet Boy. Once again, delusional or seeking TV time? Who knows. He is not even vaguely in time with the music. Nigel agrees with me that he's delusiona. Dustin claims to be a martial artist, gymnast, breakdancer and recovering from being sick. Dustin, you suck. There has got to be another Starsky and Hutch remake in the works - go audition. Lil C says that Dustin should investigate a style called "Trickin." In Lil' C's world, words never end.
Christopher is a red haired, effeminite dreadlocked man. In other words, a walking oxymoron, emphasis on the moron. He dances like he's at a Grateful Dead concert during Space after eating 10000000 special brownies. Lil' C has an expression on his face like he just sat down next to the person muttering to himself on a bus. Christopher has a stressed out shakiness that gives me the heebee jeebees. He and Nigel get in a fight, accusing each other of rudeness.
Another montage of bad dancers, in the form of a video about how to audition. Moving on.....
Caitlin is a perky blonde whose sister is already going to Vegas from an earlier audition. She's adorable and I either hate her or want her to be my best friend. She's a darn good dancer and very athletic. She's only been doing it for 5 years! Another Sabra, I'm thinking. She's has hip reconstruction surgery! Another Alien, I'm thinking. We'll see ya in Vegas.
Choreography winners from Day 1 montage.
Memphis Day 2. Anna is a tom-boyish typically pretty Southern girl, whose father recently killed himself - awkward. They really go into her interview and I can't help but think, enough talking, dance already. She wears a plaid shirt during her audition. Huh? Nigel thinks she's over-choreographed, but likes her. Mary loves her, except for her headbouncing. Lil' C bring up the father issue and apparently is also a child of suicide. He suceeds in making Anna cry. Everyone agrees that she should go to choreography.
Texaco native Travis' father is a football coach. Texaco Dad seems a bit stressed about his son being made fun of for being a dancer. Travis strikes me as a bit clumsy somehow. He is also wearing what I can only describe as a shrug sweater. Nigel basically says he's a bit wimpy and needs to work out with his father's football players. Lil' C and Mary agree. Nigel gives a shout out to Travis' Dad for supporting his son and we'll see Travis in choreography.
Ryan and Evan are dancing brothers. They will be auditioning solo - wise move. They are actually really cute in their brotherliness, not at all loverish like the pair from last week's audition.
Evan comes out and rocks a jazz routine. I would give him a ticket to Vegas. Nigel, being a jazz guy himself, loves it too. Mary and Lil' C dig it. Vegas bound!
Ryan is the older brother and he does an acoustic tap routine accompanied by a whoopee cushion. That's a first for me. Nigel doesn't seem to quite know what to do with the fart sounds and Lil' C appears disturbed, but in comments apparently loves him. Nigel wants choreography, but Mary and Lil' C overrule and demand Vegas.
Another set of twins, Lauren and Lydia can be told apart only by the fact that Lauren's (I think) foundation is too light. They dance synchronized, which just highlights the fact that Lauren is the better dancer. Nigel is clearly having Hugh Hefner like fantasies. To choreography.
In choreography, I routing for Anna and Travis. Twin Lauren is Vegas bound, as are Anna and Travis. The judges do a fake out, but Twin Lydia is going too.
Tomorrow, we're going to Seattle and LA. Woohoo.
Not much ballroom tonight. Hmmm.
Who was your favorite? Mine was, of course, Geo.
The first contestant is Alvin aka Tony? Long Last Name. He says he wants to show us something that we've never seen before - which is never a good sign. I can't tell whether he thinks he's actually good or if he's one of those reality losers who just want to get on television. However, his feet are definitely too big, but I don't think that's why he's so awful. Needless to say, Alvin will not be joining us in the future. [Warning - I hate the crappy contestant things and will usually just skip over them.] Alvin has a bit of a meltdown of the lack of breathing variety and a medic is called before he leaves the building (no worries, a banana, some water and a bit of camera time cure him).
Next we have foreign hottie - Pricilla (sadly, not of the desert). She's wearing a blue babydoll dress. What's with the babydoll dresses on this show? If I had a body like these dancers, I'd be prancing around in a thong and pasties 95% of the time. Besides, the width of the dress makes it difficult to see their torso move. Everyone loves her. Nigel drools a bit and Tyce does the gay man hotness compliment. She gets a ticket.Next we have repeat auditioning latin dancing partners, Jeanette and Romulo. Jeanette starts out annoying me with her bad Nigel impersonation. Romulo has a bit of a lisp. They have some very cool tricks, including the miracle of Jeanette keeping her top on throughout the performance. Mary gives her signature scream - I roll my eyes. They both go to Vegas. In celebration, Romulo breakdances, which is suprisingly a bit depressing - stick with the salsa Romulo.
Twins Jessica and Jennifer repeats their introduction about 27 times. Yes, they will be performing together. In case they weren't awful enough individually. They have some half-tye-died monstrosity pants on that may cause a hippie riot. Their dancing is drunk girl jumping on the stage in a strip bar quality. Apparently, the brain trust twins made up their routine in one day - apparently, they were supposed to be synchronized. I agree with Tyce that it was "tragic." Goodbye twins.
We then have a montage of Tyce going queen on countless terrible dancers. "A milkshake full ofTylenol"? Smelling one's armpit. Call the dance police. He even brings out the full Brooklyn accent.
A guy who looks like Will from last season's little brother is up next. Given the fact that's he's clearly Southern and rather urban, I doubt that they are related. His name is Joseph. He's a popper and I'm not sure if he's dressed poorly of if he's really a lilliputin. He gets an invitation to choreography.
We see Lauren from Season 3 teaching people the choreography and I'm suprised that she looks like the worst of the bunch. Joseph gets a ticket to Vegas, as do a number of nameless folk, including one chick who drops her ticket in a windy hotel entrance.
Wislande is first up on Day 2 and she definitely learned dance at stripper school and borrowed her outfit from her teacher. I can't even describe the costume, I'll have to find a picture.
She tries to pick a fight with Tyce because he looked "disgusted" when she was doing her crotch flashes. Hello Wislande - the gay man isn't into your wahoo! Back to the pole with you.We see another montage of bad people, including one who apparently has followed the auditions around. Nigel basically tells her she's a kook and to give up.
Our next feature is Eric the Tapper. His song is Thriller and he starts off with a massive flip or is it a somersault - in any case, he's doing something I am wholly incapable of. Moonwalk - no kidding. The Worm! For real. Breakdancing? Holy crap! All this and he seems rather cool? I call Alien! To Vegas with you!
Pagent girl, Paris doesn't have a particularly pretty face, but she's a decent dancer. Paris tends to pose smugly a bit much for my taste - just dance chica. Nigel is all over it and Mary likes it. Tyce gives some criticism and wants her to go to choreography, but Mary and Nigel overrule and send her to Vegas.
Then, we have a montage of - good dancers? What a relief. There's a bit about a Henry Riviera, who I am looking forward to seeing in Vegas.
Geo Smith is a African Dancer IN FULL COSTUME.
I love Geo from word go. He approaches the judge's table and Mary is so freaked out that she claws Nigel. What, did she think she was getting mugged? I am confused as to how Geo can see with his eye-blocking headdress. Geo will be going to choreography.Thalia looks to be in her early twenties, but is a widow/ Apprently, her hubby (who had a rocking body, by the way) died in a motorcycle accident three years ago. Sad. The show is obviously trying to get us to root for her. Thalia is a gorgious girl with a fantastic figure. She does a rather masculine hip hip routine with definite Selina elements to it (that's my nice way of saying a bit stripperish). Nigel is creeped out a bit by her facial expressions. Mary liked her fire, but agrees with Nigel that there isn't a lot of substance. Mary and Nigel send her to choreography. I'm not hopeful, but go for it Thalia.
In choreography, I think that Geo rocks, but Thalia leaves a bit to be desired. GEO GOES TO VEGAS. YEAHHHHHH. Thalia gets to go too. We then get another montage of Vegas goers, including another girl who drops her ticket in the doorway.
On to Memphis! Guest judge Lil' C., master of my most hated dance form - Krump. Our first Volunteer is Marico the Police Officer. His stye of dance is something that sounds like "Memphis Chicken" but is apparently Memphis Jukin'. It reminds me a bit of Cedric from a couple of seasons ago, which I consider a compliment. Nigel references someone called "Lil' Buck" - is he related to Lil C? Mary talks about Jukin like she's seen it before, but I'm doubtful. The judges do a big fake out, but Marico goes to Vegas. I like him. He may be second to Geo on my most loved dancers list.
Next up, Dustin is an escapee from a 70s cop show and is apparently the cousin of a Backstreet Boy. Once again, delusional or seeking TV time? Who knows. He is not even vaguely in time with the music. Nigel agrees with me that he's delusiona. Dustin claims to be a martial artist, gymnast, breakdancer and recovering from being sick. Dustin, you suck. There has got to be another Starsky and Hutch remake in the works - go audition. Lil C says that Dustin should investigate a style called "Trickin." In Lil' C's world, words never end.
Christopher is a red haired, effeminite dreadlocked man. In other words, a walking oxymoron, emphasis on the moron. He dances like he's at a Grateful Dead concert during Space after eating 10000000 special brownies. Lil' C has an expression on his face like he just sat down next to the person muttering to himself on a bus. Christopher has a stressed out shakiness that gives me the heebee jeebees. He and Nigel get in a fight, accusing each other of rudeness.
Another montage of bad dancers, in the form of a video about how to audition. Moving on.....
Caitlin is a perky blonde whose sister is already going to Vegas from an earlier audition. She's adorable and I either hate her or want her to be my best friend. She's a darn good dancer and very athletic. She's only been doing it for 5 years! Another Sabra, I'm thinking. She's has hip reconstruction surgery! Another Alien, I'm thinking. We'll see ya in Vegas.
Choreography winners from Day 1 montage.
Memphis Day 2. Anna is a tom-boyish typically pretty Southern girl, whose father recently killed himself - awkward. They really go into her interview and I can't help but think, enough talking, dance already. She wears a plaid shirt during her audition. Huh? Nigel thinks she's over-choreographed, but likes her. Mary loves her, except for her headbouncing. Lil' C bring up the father issue and apparently is also a child of suicide. He suceeds in making Anna cry. Everyone agrees that she should go to choreography.
Texaco native Travis' father is a football coach. Texaco Dad seems a bit stressed about his son being made fun of for being a dancer. Travis strikes me as a bit clumsy somehow. He is also wearing what I can only describe as a shrug sweater. Nigel basically says he's a bit wimpy and needs to work out with his father's football players. Lil' C and Mary agree. Nigel gives a shout out to Travis' Dad for supporting his son and we'll see Travis in choreography.
Ryan and Evan are dancing brothers. They will be auditioning solo - wise move. They are actually really cute in their brotherliness, not at all loverish like the pair from last week's audition.
Evan comes out and rocks a jazz routine. I would give him a ticket to Vegas. Nigel, being a jazz guy himself, loves it too. Mary and Lil' C dig it. Vegas bound!
Ryan is the older brother and he does an acoustic tap routine accompanied by a whoopee cushion. That's a first for me. Nigel doesn't seem to quite know what to do with the fart sounds and Lil' C appears disturbed, but in comments apparently loves him. Nigel wants choreography, but Mary and Lil' C overrule and demand Vegas.
Another set of twins, Lauren and Lydia can be told apart only by the fact that Lauren's (I think) foundation is too light. They dance synchronized, which just highlights the fact that Lauren is the better dancer. Nigel is clearly having Hugh Hefner like fantasies. To choreography.
In choreography, I routing for Anna and Travis. Twin Lauren is Vegas bound, as are Anna and Travis. The judges do a fake out, but Twin Lydia is going too.
Tomorrow, we're going to Seattle and LA. Woohoo.
Not much ballroom tonight. Hmmm.
Who was your favorite? Mine was, of course, Geo.
Allow Me To Introduce Myself
I love SYTYCD. I admit it. I didn't even watch the first season, but Season 2 - it had me from the first plie. As far as my dance knowledge, it is non-existant. I took ballet as a child for about 4 months before my incessant crying got on my mother's nerves enough that she let me drop out. I still have the treasured memories in the form of a photograph with my fat, five year old belly straining out from under a tutu.
As a adult, I have subjected myself to dance classes, however. First, to stripper class, or as I like to call it, laugh your ass off while bruising your knees. Then, I took hip hop. I strongly suspected throughout the class that I looked a bit like a hippopotomus on roller skates. This was confirmed, however, by my classmate, who told me that I shouldn't give up because I could only improve. My best form of dance is country line dancing, which I only do because I love my cowboy boots and it's essentially just stomping around, which I mastered at the age of 2.
My point in telling you this is not to expect any fancy dancing terms or critiques. I like it or I don't. It looks appealing to me or it doesn't. I may think that the hardest dance step in the world is ugly and stupid and I may think that the easiest looks really cool. Watching is still fun.
Welcome to So You Think You Can Dance - Summer 2009
OK, so I missed the first episode. I watched it, but I didn't actually blog it. My bad. However, it was cool to see Red-Haired Roommate (Natalie) and Alfonso Ribeiro (aka Brandon). Seriously though, the Alfonso/Brandon similarity is uncanny. Check it out:
Carlton did always like to dance.
Carlton did always like to dance.
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